woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
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