My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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