We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
i always knew that i'd have sex in your room, i just assumed it would be with you
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
I went by my nickname in rehab. It made it feel more like summer camp.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I'm not sure what happened. There's a frozen waffle in the floor and he's walking around with a curtain rod and making planes out of bread slices...
Randomize
