I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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