Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
