We won't sleep together?
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
