Shaq going to Cleveland; Vince Carter to the Magic; Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon die.... ARMAGEDDON IS UPON US!!!!!
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
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