Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Is the mullet a good, great, or horrible idea before we leave for college
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
