i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
she smelled like a LAN party
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Randomize
