on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
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