I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
So basically our separate showers turned into one shower, to save water, which turned into a bath, which turned into sex on the bed, which turned into drinking beer in the bed, and thats what the stain is from... bud light. sorry.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
