how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
I've spent hours masturbating before. It's actually my favorite Sunday activity
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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