Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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