So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
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