Im at strip club and am horny
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
Randomize
