Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
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