its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
