yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
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