okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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