so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
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