you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
