It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I believe in your delicious
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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