is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
