College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
Rent Disney Oceans. Smoke a bowl. Fast forward to the seal section. Then call me.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
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