it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
