Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
He just used my bikini trimmer to give himself a fumanchu. And I still plan on having sex with him tonight. This has to be what true love feels like.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
If you fuck her, Im going to call you and I want you to cough 2 times.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
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