Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
I'm more picky about my flip flops than the guys I sleep with
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
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