he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
