Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Note: footlong is not the password to the subway wi fi network.. p.s- im super high
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize
