Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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