dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
