I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I just encountered the same creepy guy I showed you, he jumped inside the dumpster screaming.
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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