if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
can I come stay the night
yeah, but no sex tonight
I'll stay home
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
It blows my mind that pandora doesn't have an : I want to lay in bed in the dark and be sad and cold and eat frozen mangos and chipotle all day station
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
