dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
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I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
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god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
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