people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
Just stole a goat. Bringing it to your house to cock block. Blame the goat not me.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cops busted the party. A kid dressed as a dinosaur tried to crawl out the bathroom window but his tail got stuck. It took 3 cops to pry him out.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just swallowed confetti and motor-boated some guys beard...#happy2015
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
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