An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
