I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Damn victory sex feels great
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
