I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
Day 8 of being sober: Sniffed an empty beer bottle at a restaurent and almost licked it. This is not working
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
