My hair reeks of homosexuality.
In the airport and just saw a little boy put his head in his mother's crotch... I guess he took a whiff because he backed up and said loudly, "mommy your pee-pee is stinky!"
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
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