I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
