I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
His pubic hair was longer than his dick
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
