He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
So on how many levels of wrong is it that I'm reconsidering my divorce simply because I don't want to go through getting used to shitting around someone again.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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