hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
It's going to be so weird waking up tomorrow morning fully rested completely sober and not covered in piss or bruises.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
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