I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
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