best thing about halloween? there are pumpkins to puke in EVERYWHERE!
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
Randomize
