I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
You are the worst kind of disappointment. The responsible kind.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
just woke up on the floor with a bottle in my hand. and by bottle, i mean a baby bottle. half filled with tequila.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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