Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
No, you can still breathe under the balls.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
If you get any calls give me a heads up. Im drinking rum in my underwear on the back porch.
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
