think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
That explains waking up with one hand in the toilet and the other in the trash can
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
