): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
