Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
My sex toys have been held in customs for almost a month now. They're British, what the hell?!?
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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