suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
I think my moral compass just broke
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
Randomize
