it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I got her a Nickelback box set.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
But what is a man profited, if he should gain Joe Biden and lose Alex Trebek?
Randomize
