hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
Randomize
