Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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