All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Barsexuality is the new black.
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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