Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
You think the Elephant Man ever tried to pick up chicks claiming all his appendages were elephant-sized?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
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