yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
We've made a drinking game out of how many times the tornado sirens go off. We're good at tornado safety.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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