I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
i am no longer ashamed when i walk into the dining hall for sunday brunch and i'm greeted with applause for suriving my weekend
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
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