He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
When you're trying to sneak from the bathroom to your room with dildo, but it glows in the dark and suddenly your entire life is illuminated in the shape of dick
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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