Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I think people are normalizing furries
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
Randomize
