I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
I went to work hungover and threw up in the break room. Told them I was pregnant and then said I quit. I don't have a job now, thanks vodka.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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