I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Too much dab too little lung dying šµšµšµ
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Randomize
