when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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