Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
Randomize
