Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
Randomize
